22th April, Monday. I have received letter to be enlist on July 10, when I receive this letter I feel so afraid.. I am so afraid I will enlist into commando, because I really find that I still have a long way to go and I am scare of water, I dun wan to take the risk in it.. commando get to go more near to water and life of risk, but luckily I got a normal post, I had posted to tekong, hopefully for the 2yr of army I can finish up earlier.. Actually at the moment I am really confused in alot of things, but just dun know how to mention and sort out what I am confuse of, but I think in my mind is that I really lost will I marry her? should I stick to her? for the entire life will I be regret? I am really confuse, as what ppl always said love is selfish, I still got long way to go.. I really dun wan to put eye sight so short distance and for all the time my target of gf is those office gals with nice hair, attractive eye, x factor attitude.. but this kind of ladies always what ppl aim for.. and I am so sensitive.. I always afraid my gf or wife will got fuck around as now a day the world had changed for woman.. and my gf now although is not the type I am going for but she is very nice, adorable, always make me laugh, put in alot alot effort in this relationship.. so what should I do? I really dun know. But at the moment I just hope that this coming thursday exam for HI I will pass and quickly start on my foundation and will be successfully.. I got not much time to spend as I need to be rich before 29.